The Language of Persuasion

You’ve seen it in the news. Someone is caught drinking and driving, and they say something they did not mean. Is it possible to say something we don’t store deep inside just because we’re drunk?  Maybe we did not mean to say it. Deep inside there was something unresolved that bubbled to the surface when prodded.

In vino veritas is the expression. Do we really say the truth only when inebriated? It’s a possibility. The other possibility is that when our guard is down, we say things we’d manage to dissimulate strategically were our wits about us. There are evolutionary reasons of why it works that way and I'll talk about that in a later post.

Yesterday I talked about storytelling in wine marketing. Once we buy the story, we enjoy the product and go back for more. So experience joins story and invites us to seek additional permutations of the product and service. In fact, in the last couple of days, I’ve been talking about the language of persuasion inherent with brands. We read about what works, and we took a look at what may need improvement.

I joined a conversation hosted by Michael Wagner at Own Your Brand that can help you think about your personal brand. Mike talks about thin slicing, the expression we all became familiar with after reading Malcolm Gladwell’s Blink. In his post, he outlined 5 observations on situations and behaviors that would lodge in our unconscious mind to provide instantaneous information about a business.

My comment to Mike’s post was directed towards understanding how those insights provide us information on people. This can be helpful in managing personal brands. Here’s what I suggested you consider the first time you meet someone and someone meets you:

1. Does this person care about themselves? What’s their spirit as they relate to you? This is not merely a question of exterior presentation, rather a matter of interior representation.
2. Is the person in the moment with me? Are they looking at showing off their knowledge and keen on having their say vs. letting the conversation take us both to a new place?
3. Is this person creating a space where novel ideas are welcome? Are they open to learning about your point of view? Will they think with you?
4. This is huge on a personal level. How can you connect with this person? What percentage of the time do they come to you when *they* need something compared to the instances when they just offer a service –- in whatever form, advice, information, knowledge-sharing, staying in touch for the pleasure of doing so with no particular agenda in mind, etc.
5. Does the individual feel accountable for the experience of them? Do they think about the impact their thinking, words and actions have on others?

Our personal brand is a determining factor in today’s commerce –- regardless of work status (free agent, full time employee, thought leader, etc.). It is not acceptable to delegate the control over what we choose to become to external factors. What our personal brand brings to the conversation, turns out to be an enormous source of influence over the environment(s) in which we select to do our work–- and that has remarkable consequences over the output.

This year I will tap into my personal network to present more conversations with remarkable people who are doing great work. They are not necessarily the usual suspects. In fact, they will be mostly hidden treasures -- people who have strong personal brands and very interesting stories to tell; stories that have become part of the fabric of my living over time. The language of persuasion begins with story, extends to experience, and comes back to new thinking.

[that is the magnificent Piazza del Campo in Siena, which was recently voted the most livable city in Italy]

Comments

[Michael Wagner]

What a delight to see how you have enlarged the conversation.

Looking forward to meeting the people in your personal network while taking the journey from story to experience to learning new ways to think.

Keep creating...the brand called YOU,
Mike

[David Armano]

The thing about influence is that it is nearly never forced. The best leaders lead through influence—they use a variety of technniques to motivate people vs. having them follow commands.

I like your 5 points and I especially like that you used the word "care". Highly Influential people are also often times the most flawed human beings around. But if the people being "influenced" feel like the influencer cares about them—genuinely, and that they just care in general, that helps plant the seeds of influence. It also aids in the "acceptance" of an influencer's personal limitations.

Nice post.

[Sherry Borzo]

I like your 5 points Valeria. Seems like being authentic and present for others is the best "branding" a person can create and also the best gift for others. It's such a basic concept and yet so hard to accomplish this just being in the moment with others. Must always tone down the ego. Thanks for the great post.

[Valeria Maltoni]

Michael -- your idea lent itself very nicely to the scope of my thinking. Funny how I keep going back to the thought that work is personal.

David -- I owe many of my thoughts around leadership to my long time mentor and former CEO. The 'care' part needs to be shown, and the most influential people shine it right through.

Sherry -- sometimes we forget to be in the conversation with the other. Ironically, it is much easier to be present when we forget ourselves. As you put it, the ego wants to have a say.

[Stephen Denny]

Valeria -- I'm enjoying your blog! Thanks for getting in touch! Sounds like you're in my old neighborhood of (west) Philly --

How often are you in a meeting with someone who seems to be mentally preparing their next speech instead of listening to you or anyone else? They aren't really looking at you, they aren't actually engaged, but they seem more animated and excited the closer you are to finishing whatever you're saying?

A very wise advisor used to describe this as "two people climbing the ladders of their own inference and hurling conclusions at each other."

It's a good 'thin slice' of a company with a poor culture of communication and very common. Unfortunately.