Now What? Going from Stuck to Unstuck

Have you ever felt powerless? People have described that feeling in many different ways: I'm not in control, I had no choice, there was nothing I could do, nowhere to go, we were captive, etc. I could go on. The point that I'd like to convey is that "stuck" is an overwhelming sentiment -- it's emotional.

When we feel trapped, we stop thinking about possibilities and we shut down to any kind of rationalization. Our attitude may go from expansive to uncooperative in a matter of minutes. It's quite normal, actually. Yet this feeling is often chalked up to impatience and rationalized -- everything will be fine as soon as the power comes back on, the tower gives us permission to take off, and any other scenario you can think of.

I say take care of those feelings and bring people back from stuck to unstuck and you will minimize the ill effects towards you and your company and brand. This includes the way your front line employees feel about their jobs. It doesn't matter whose fault it is, the first step in the right direction is to communicate with all the parties involved, then act. Action is your key to credibility.

What happens when you do not act is that people will transfer the frustration they experience onto you. I provide a short example at my weekly post at FC Expert blogs. You will be amazed at the power of small gestures to keep everyone on board. I'm talking about being stuck on a plane that is going nowhere -- and airline snafus seem to be all the rage these days.

I was having lunch with a colleague yesterday and she shared the adventurous tale of her last trip from the West coast. Not only did she have to switch three planes after missing her short connection, face uncooperative airport traffic conditions and airline staff. Once she landed in Philadelphia, she had to bear the contempt of a surly airline employee who was upset at her because she did not see her bag. After all, she had been traveling only for a day and a half with no sleep and the bag was right where it was supposed to be, at another terminal's carousel.

I borrowed the terminology from Keith Yamashita, who I had the good fortune of meeting a few years back. We can go from stuck to unstuck in many ways. Communication, and action are part of the solution. So take a deep breath, acknowledge the situation, and lean forward. Do you have positive examples of how you where able to go, or take someone, from stuck to unstuck to share? 

Comments

[Philippe]

I learned 2 hours ago that google bought feedburner and felt bad about it. I'm trying to unstuck myself...

[Philippe]

But to answer the question (sorry for my moody previous comment), one month ago I had lunch with my colleague Geert during the preparation of the yearplan. We were not really involved in the year plan and we were a little frustrated. We decided to send a mail to the leadership team called "Let's not try to do more with less but let's challenge the status quo". We expressed our concerns, our hopes, dreams and ideas for the 12 months to come. That's were we received a wonderful compliment from our country manager who told us that our proposal gave her a new energy :)

I don't know if this will change the destiny of Microsoft Belgium but I felt this (fiscal) year will have a new flavour.

Of course, the mail was a very little contribution to what became the whole year plan but it helped to open the conversation.

[Valeria Maltoni]

Philippe:

I was stuck on your first response. All kidding aside, that is a wonderful example how often "stuck" is in our own heads. And unless we move to a more productive space, we will not make progress.

Instead of staying upset, you and Geert figured out a way to communicate a way to do things differently. It's important to be able to say, "I had a hand in designing the work we do". And being able to inspire someone else to action (or thinking of action) is a gift.

[peter vajda]

Hi Valeria,

You say, "So take a deep breath, acknowledge the situation, and lean forward."

You mention taking a breath and moving forward. For me and folks I work with, we take the same deep breath, actually a few, and move directly into the felt-sense of the stuckness. Diving into it and inquiring into it, but from a mind-body place, breathing and allowing the breath to take us "inside" where there are most often the wisdom, insights and AHAs that lie underneath the state of stuckness. For me, trying to mentally "figure it out" or mentally move away from stuckness is not always the best direction. Sometimes, going into an internal reflective state, a meditative or mindfulness state (not a mental-logical state), can be very helpful in seeing what needs to be seen and learned about one's state of stuckness. From this of Right Knowing and Right Understanding, Right Action can arise.

[Valeria Maltoni]

Peter:

My exact words were 'lean forward', not the same as move forward. Communication followed by action allows people to unlock the state of quasi-paralysis of stuck and absorb acknowledging the situation.

Frustration is often the result of the perception that nothing is being done to help us out. Once we truly 'know' that something is being done, even is ever so slight, we can relax the expectation muscle and deal with our own emotional state.

[Joe Raasch]

Dick Hallstein, one of the more gifted consultants I've had the opportunity to work with, taught us about 'hooks'.

These are situations or perceptions or reactions that take us right up the ladder of inference, from observable data straight to action, without much thought or reflection.

Getting stuck with hooks is common for all of us. We each have situations that make us 'four + crazy" at times. For me, that is not having a direction. Plans can change, but sitting still and not having a goal to move toward is hard for me.

I get stuck at work when no one will make a decision or develop a plan of action. Knowing this is a hook of mine, I am able to come to meetings with conversation starters or sample goals to help guide the teams I work with.

Knowing your 'sticking points' helps prevent you from getting stuck.

[Valeria Maltoni]

Joe:

This is wonderful advice. The challenge for customer service is often that during a day or in a situation like the one I described, they come in contact with people of all persuasions and levels of awareness.

So having the personal awareness of how to help diverse people reach the 'unstuck' point is very effective in avoiding confrontation or, worse, ill feelings.