Connection Kata: Can You Keep a Secret?

We live in a 24/7 world -- companies and people are getting requests for more information at any hour. The expectation is that if we are to wait one minute more, we might decide to take our business, and connection, elsewhere.

Small aside -- have you noticed how impatient people are these days? I thought that Italians were aggressive drivers. I'm finding more and more people who stop at a light right on your rear bumper and literally push you forward as soon as the light is about to turn.

Not to speak of the impatience when you slow down to turn. Where is everyone going with such hurry? Are we harried because we might think we're missing something?

It occurred to me that the ability to have a private and confidential conversation is becoming increasingly precious. It's a moment stolen from the frenetic pace of the 24/7 world, and a special gift given to us.

I believe that the people and companies that will be able to balance their availability with their ability to keep a secret, to be trusted, will be winners.

The Bow

People who know I blog have asked how I find inspiration for my posts. The question right behind that one is often -- will you blog about this conversation?  I don't unless there is a specific understanding that we're talking about the subject for a post. I value my privacy and stay sensitive to the privacy of others. By and large, most of the bloggers I know honor this code.

We are often both friends/peers and bloggers/publishers at the same time. Is this another difference between social media and traditional media?

There are things off the record, exchanged among friends, that should not appear publicly. When you get to know the person first and appreciate his sensibilities you become a trusted ear. Err on the side of "private" when in doubt -- no trespassing is hard to do retroactively.

This is true for companies as well. In your marketing outreach -- especially as we venture in the delicate and personal world of mobile communications -- ask permission first and ask it each time. Never, ever, take your customers and prospects for granted.

This is what got them to turning you off in the first place. In fact, I believe the future is for those companies that learn to navigate the subtle line between commercial offer and respect of the preferred communications styles of the people they intend to reach.

This is the difference between talking at and connecting with -- connections are forged over time.

The Practice

How do you demonstrate you are trustworthy?  Begin by not pretending you're a friend when you're not, yet. Let the other person get to know you by experiencing how you're learning about them. Make sure that who you say you are, what you articulate about yourself, and how you show what you are align.

This lesson may be the hardest for organizations. There is much talk about authenticity these days and how we're to make an offer that feels authentic. I've been reading the new book by Joseph Pine and James Gilmore, Authenticity -- What Consumers Really Want, and have come up to the chapter on identity as in corporate identity vs. brand. There's a subtle distinction, yet one worth noting:

Corporations, places, and offerings have actual identities (the selves to which they must be true to be perceived as authentic), not just articulations of those identities (the representations that must accurately reflect those selves to be perceived as authentic).

Authenticity in the end is quite subjective. As well, our perception that a person and a company respect our time and privacy may be unique to each person. Build the foundation first and you will fare much better in the long term. Can you keep a secret? If you can, the scoop you may think you have today may pale in comparison with the relationship you can have tomorrow.

Why does it matter? Think word of mouth -- the unbiased opinion is still the most trusted around the globe. As eMarketer published Word of Mouth Works Worldwide

"[...] marketers need to focus as much attention on what consumers say about their brands online as they do on creating the brand Web sites themselves," Ms. Williamson said. "The easiest thing to do is to make consumer feedback an essential part of every brand Web site."

Time and over again, people say they trust the opinion of a friend over any form of persuasion. Who do you call a friend?

Comments

[bill]

a) we're impatient because we feel the need to accomplish things quickly. I don't believe we feel that we're missing things so much as feel that we are about to get clobbered by something else, so - lets get this done and get ready for that. Short attention spans help with that tendency, too.

b) private and confidential conversations -- in support of that concept, I offer the ads for (is it Northwestern Mutual? Not sure) whose tagline appears to be 'Time for a Quiet Conversation'. I wish I could convince myself that they're promoting gentility, but I think I'll have to settle for the concept of exclusivity as the selling point. Yes, exclusivity to anyone who'll pay the price for their services IS something of an oxymoron.

c)Demonstrating that you're trustworthy? Borrowing from the old joke: By being trustworthy. (You know: if you can fake sincerity, you've got it made.)

[Valeria Maltoni]

Are you saying that we still suffer from incurable pioneering spirit here? Isn't speed the enemy of good? There was a saying in Italy we used all the time -- when you're in a hurry, slow down. I appreciated how true when I spilled a whole jar of nail polish on tile for wanting to finish the job faster ;-) Or does the tendency foster short attention spans? It seems to me this a catch-22 issue.

Your Northwestern Mutual example does seem to indicate that we're indeed talking about luxury, and privacy should be a given.

Want to know why sincerity cannot be faked? Gut -- we have a well developed instinct for danger, if we learn to listen to it. We sometimes talk ourselves into believing despite what we feel.

I'd be interested in what others might say about this point. Good discussion starter, thank you!

[Pier Luca Santoro]

Dear Valeria,
The "time to response" has become a key issue for customers. A recent study by Cap Gemini on this subject found that cars dealers that give a response in 20 minutes to customers doubled their conversion rates.
Big hug.
Pier Luca Santoro

[Valeria Maltoni]

Yes, we have come to expect fast response times ironically because many times we have received no response. An answer is also part of closing the communication loop -- no reply keeps the item open in our mind. Even when the experience has been positive so far, open often equals unresolved.

[Becky Carroll]

"I believe the future is for those companies that learn to navigate the subtle line between commercial offer and respect of the preferred communications styles of the people they intend to reach."

Valeria, you have hit the heart of communication right here. If more companies reached out to their customers in the way customers wanted, they would find a much more receptive audience!

Thanks for raising the visibility. :-)

[Valeria Maltoni]

Becky:

I was talking recently with a colleague whose son buys a lot of Lego's -- I mean hundreds of dollars of kits. After discovering he was missing a piece in one of his recent kits, He wrote the company. All he got was an automated form back -- no information on next steps, no offer to send the little piece. Why? Why not take care of the little things? Why wait for a potential avalanche or disenchantment?

Each touch point is part of your brand.