Think Different! About Changing Minds -- Are we Commoditizing Connections?

We change brains as we exchange information, yet we rarely change minds. Joe Raasch -- a conversation partner and frequent contributor to this blog -- tagged me with the Think Different Challenge.

My challenge back to you is to think different about changing minds in your connection-making activities. The more tools we have to become connected, the less we learn to value the true meaning of connection. Are we in fact commoditizing connection? LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, blogs and heaven knows what else next -- knowing how to connect with the human being on the other side of the conversation requires more respect, tact, sense of timing and purpose than ever.

We can throw words out in the excitement of potentially greater visibility, but are we truly adding value? Think different about how genuine you are as you leave comments on blogs -- who is the comment for?  What to make of the heated discussion between Chris Anderson and readers about PR blockage? Were people trying to think different about changing minds?

How about when everyone gets in your way of getting your own blogging done? Rebecca Thorman shares from her experience -- it could be any of us. The only mind that matters is the one that wants to change itself, whether that be ours or someone else's is a matter of individual choice -- the point is "want to", not have to, must, need, etc.

And something in between PR and leadership. Because brands give us identity, stimulate our senses and enrich life experiences, it's human to affiliate and surround ourselves with things we know, trust and aspire to be. There is great resistance to changing minds even about brands, as Jack Trout writes.

My work sits at the intersection of all these disciplines, where the conversation is a departure and not an arrival.

"Knowledge can be communicated, but not wisdom. One can find it, live it, be fortified by it, do wonders through it, but one cannot communicate and teach it." [Herman Hesse, Siddartha]

The Challenge

The Think Different Challenge is all about finding something in your life you currently have negative thoughts or feelings toward (e.g. work or your mother-in-law), and deciding to look at it differently. It is about realizing that some things are just a part of life, so we may as well try to find the positives in them. Follow the link to Joe's blog up top to find the rules for this writing project.

And now the fun part. I tag:

• Skellie at Skelliewag -- if this blog is not in your RSS reader, check it out
• Ann Michael at Manage to Change -- motto: ideas need to add up before the multiply
• Liz Strauss at Successful and Outstanding Blog(gers) -- because she can think different

I'd love to continue the conversation on thinking differently about changing minds here.

Comments

[Liz Strauss]

Hi Valeria!
What a fun and exciting challenge! I'll be thinking about it all day today . . . :)

[Joe Raasch]

Hi Valeria,

As always, you not only accepted the 'challenge', you took it to the next level!

The power of intention is incredibly strong. Being able to discern the intention in our writing, thinking, doing - and conveying that intention to others, is a daily challenge for us all.

Thank you!

Cheers, Joe

[Business Blog Angel Team (Joanna)]

Valeria, I think you struck the nail on the head with these words - the requirement for more "respect, tact, sense of timing and purpose than ever"

Thanks for the encouragement and challenge to think differently about how we add value to conversations

Joanna

[Valeria Maltoni]

@Liz -- You were the first person I thought about when I was writing. You're so good with kicking off this kind of conversation ;-)

@Joe -- I liked the tagging vs. meme, kind of passing the baton. And I discovered that Donna knows a person who works in the Philadelphia area I know a little. Small world getting smaller!

@Joanna -- as I said in my note to you, your site and the work you are doing both project a positive and winning environment where customers are welcome and appreciated. A great find.

[Carolyn Ann]

Thinking about things differently... Hmm. "New indoor swimming pool, a bit shallow right now, but that can be fixed. Former basements steps provide a dynamic, avant-garde, entry to the experience of swimming with stored bookshelves. Anticipation is created by way of first floor paddling pool." :-)

We had a bit of a water leak.

Your post, Valeria, reminded me that even in when life is a soggy mess, looking on the bright side is always a good idea! :-)

Changing minds, and influencing people? As you sort of start to say, all of these "new" tools provide the user with more access, and the undoubted ability to stay in contact with someone, but at the end of the day only one thing will change someone's mind: trust.

Where that trust comes from is a different topic, but building the basis for that trust won't be possible simply by latching onto the latest Internet whatever.

I think the latest swing away from neocon politics, and pundits, is an example of that. People are tired of the whole "not" thing, but the alternatives haven't exactly gained the attention, let alone trust, of the people.

[Aside]"Not" is so tired right now, I'm surprised it's still being marketed; but it is, and with a little more desperation than before. (How do you build trust on "not"? We're not this, they're not that, ad infinitum, etcetra.) There's a point that gets to office politics here: so much of that is based on "not" it's almost funny. In fact, I think there's a couple of TV shows about it. [Tongue away from cheek, now.]

Gaining someone's trust always boils down to that old saw "I'm from Missouri." If you can't demonstrate dependability, you're not going to gain trust. (Politicians might want to take notes...) So, Valeria, I have to challenge what you're saying: Are you asking for new ways to demonstrate the old "show me", or will someone think that you're providing an excuse for the political two-step?

To be sure, I know you're asking for new ways to demonstrate dependability. But when it comes to trust, there are a few "challenges" (an idiotic euphemism, my apologies) that we have to pay attention to! Especially when it comes to brand management.

Carolyn Ann

[Carolyn Ann]

I forgot to mention "LC" the cat - she wasn't too happy with the new swimming pool.

(She lives in the basement; it was her choice! She's called "LC" because she's, well, little and a cat...) :-)

Carolyn Ann

[Todd Jordan]

First off - love the purple cow reference. :)

I think there are two separate ideas here. One the idea might be that of changing minds through building trust, but the other is the idea of treating connections as a commodity item.

In both cases, more connections to a person does not equal a truly deep and/or valuable relationship, at least mutually valuable.

For example, I'm connected to Robert Scoble through Facebook, Twitter, Pownce, Jaiku, Flickr and more (insert even longer list here). The point is that none of those equates to real honest to goodness friendship. Are the connections of much value anymore, or will they just keep accumulating? Will any of them build a level of trust that will prove useful to either of us?

The biggest problem is no longer finding a way to connect to someone, but a more basic problem you address above, that of having something worth saying when you do connect. Something that is credible, of value, timely, and even interesting.

Things you say with those qualities will help build trust, and from there onto a deeper relationship.

Me personally? I'm trying to leverage connections into two way contact with folks that are doing and saying things of interest to me. If we become friends, much so the better.

Anyway, this is a huge topic and one worth talking about more for sure.

Thanks for bringing it up and such a thoughtful blog post.

[Valeria Maltoni]

@Carolyn Ann -- what I'm saying is actually quite simple, we cannot expect to change any minds but our own and we should not allow connections to be commoditized. Thinking of them that way may lead us down that road. I absolutely love the idea of calling a little cat LC ;-) Although I'm allergic to cats, I think they're adorable.

@Todd -- yes, you wisely see that I built two issues in the post -- they are related. The commoditization of connections supports the thought that connections are cheap; meaning is where the value, care, etc. are. The other thought is about the expectation that we can change minds, sometimes as a result of broader and wider reach. As you point out, we still need to be credible and interesting enough to enter a deeper conversation with.

[Skellie]

Hi Valeria -- I do appreciate the tag!

I've decided not to do memes at Skelliewag as they might disrupt the regular flow of content I'm trying to build. But I will see if I can incorporate the 'think different' theme into a post :).

[ann michael]

Hi Valeria!

I posted a comment here in response to this and it must have died in Typepad verification!

Sorry to be so late to the party. I will think (differently) about this and see what I come up with!!

Ann

[Valeria Maltoni]

@Skellie -- I would love to learn how you think different when writing or in your line of work. Innovation and creativity are also about finding new ways of looking at the same things.

@Ann -- the TypePad comments have been sketchy lately. Often my own comment here appears on the side menu minutes before it appears in the post. Others have had the same or similar problems with comments. Can't wait to read what you come up with!

[Rebecca Thorman]

This is a great idea. I always try to look at things differently lately to solve problems. In particular, being nice to people are not so nice to me :)

[Valeria Maltoni]

You are your gift to the world, that is what you can affect, and manage (at times). As for others... well, they are accountable to themselves ;-)

[Rebecca Thorman]

Great point! I always enjoy how you phrase things :)