From the Director of Marketing Humor

Marketing is serious business, yet sometimes it's good to poke fun at very serious things to loosen up and look at things differently. Every so often it's good to laugh at ourselves. Do you have some good jokes on marketing? I proclaim today marketing humor day.

Help us get over the mid-week blues. Join in the fun, leave a good marketing joke as a comment here. The most original (and in good taste) wins a copy of The Big Moo by Seth Godin.

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BMW Gets Blue Windscreen of Death

Redmond, Wash. (SatireWire.com) — Microsoft announced this week that a version of its Windows operating system will be installed in BMW's new 7 Series cars, a move analysts say will dramatically increase the vehicle's ability to suddenly crash for no reason. According to BMW spokesman Gehard Voorst, the cars, which will now take at least five minutes to warm up, will enable owners to confidently cruise and compute at high speeds for several hours before the machine abruptly seizes and catapults the driver through the 7 Series' new "blue windscreen of death."

Source: SatireWire.com

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Third Way

The Optimist says, "The glass is half full."

The Pessimist says, "The glass is half empty."

The Marketing Consultant says, "Your glass needs re-sizing."

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... and

The Top 10 Signs You Work In Marketing

10. You lecture the neighborhood kids selling lemonade on ways to improve their look-to-buy ratio.

9. You get all excited when it's Saturday so you can wear casual clothes to work.

8. You refer to the tomatoes grown in your garden as "deliverables."

7. You find you really need PowerPoint to explain what you do for a living.

6. You normally eat out of vending machines and at the most expensive restaurant in town within the same week.

5. You wear gray to work instead of navy blue to make a bold fashion statement.

4. You know the people at the airport and hotel better than your next door neighbors.

3. You ask your friends to "think out of the box" when making Friday night plans.

2. You think Einstein would have been more effective had he put his ideas into a matrix.

1. You think a "half-day" means leaving work at 5 o'clock.

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[look for more humor at WebMarketingEzine.com] 

Comments

[Dayngr]

WOW! I think I work in Marketing after reading that. Thanks for the morning chuckle. This blog is always a great read.

[Frank Martin]

A lesson on the importance of probing:

Years ago, a colleague was conducting a door to door survey on Vaseline. He rang a doorbell, and it was quickly answered by a harried looking woman with three boys running around and screaming. She agreed to do the survey, seemingly oblivious to the noise and confusion as he was going through the questions.

He got to the part about the product:

Do you use Vaseline?

Oh yes - frequently.

How often would you ay that you use it?

Whenever we need to.

Do you mind telling me how you use it? (this could be the tricky part.)

Not at all. We use it for sex.

(Ulp. He knew that, but didn't expect such an honest response) He said, OK, thinking he understood.

She elaborated. Yes, we put it on the doorknobs - it keeps the boys out.

Lesson - don't assume you know what they mean!!

[Cam Beck]

"7. You find you really need PowerPoint to explain what you do for a living."

Ouch. A little close to home. :)

[Juan]

An old man, a boy and a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man was walking and the boy was riding. The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions.
Later, they passed some people that remarked, "What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." They then decided they both would walk!
Soon they passed some more people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode the donkey.
Now they passed some people that shamed them by saying how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey. The boy and man said they were probably right, so they decided to carry the donkey. As they crossed the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned.
The moral of the story? In Marketing, if you try to please everyone, you might as well...
Kiss your ass good-bye.

[Juan]

A Marketing Manager got married to a woman who had previously been married eight times. On his wedding night, his wife informed him that she was still a virgin. This was her explanation:

My first husband was a sales representative who spent our entire marriage telling me, in grandiose terms, "It's gonna be great"!

My second husband was from software services; he was never quite sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he would send me the documentation.

My third husband was an accountant. His comments were that he knew how, but he just wasn't sure whether or not it was his job.

My fourth husband was a teacher, and he simply said, "Those who can...do; those who can't...teach".

My fifth husband was an engineer. He told me that he understood the basic process but needed three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

My sixth husband was a psychiatrist and all he ever wanted to do was talk about it.

My seventh husband was a help-desk coordinator and he kept teaching me how to do it myself.

My eighth husband was in technical support, and he kept saying, "Don't worry, it'll be up any minute now."

The wife said sweetly to her new husband, "Now I am married to you, a man of marketing".

The husband looked at his wife and simply said, "I know I have
the product, I'm just not sure how to position it".

[Valeria Maltoni]

@Dayngr -- it was fun discovering the jokes and looking at the marketing profession from the outside.

@Frank -- the first submission. Thank you. With a surprising twist and topical to your work.

@Cam -- now I use a Keynote : )

[Valeria Maltoni]

Juan:

Thank you for submitting two jokes. I contacted you at your email address and look forward to connecting.