Hardest Thing to Manage: Our Own Ego

I received a couple of emails recently that pointed me to Guy Kawasaki's latest venture, Alltop.com. In particular, the messages were about me being on a list under the "egos" label. Two thoughts presented themselves:

1. I'm on a list with wow blogs, some of which should be on my reading list.
2. Hey, maybe some of those bloggers will notice my blog and add it to their list.

The hardest thing to manage is our own ego.

I take no offense to the term at all. In fact, I am with Rohit Bhargava when he says that ego is part of what marketing appeals to. Rohit's insight is that activities are mainly "criticized negatively by those who have bruised egos from not being included."  Let's not get too focused on that for now.

The ego (from Latin), in Freudian terms, is the mediator between the id and the super-ego, trying to ensure that the needs of both the id and the super-ego are met.

It deals with the id and the super-ego; allowing them to express their desires, drives and morals in realistic and socially appropriate ways. It is said that the ego stands for reason and caution, developing with age.

Chance has it that my next book in the queue is The Art of the Start. In the book, Kawasaki focuses on what's real and addresses the frequently avoided questions (FAQs). This has everything to do with managing our ego. What is it that we should work on and do today, this moment, that can make a difference? The hardest thing of all to starting anything is the starting point itself, where the ego does battle with itself and finds many ways to avoid the hard questions. For a taste you may also read the Change This book manifesto.

The gist of the book is surprisingly close to the reasons why I continue to devote time and attention to blogging:

1. Make meaning - to me it's about making the world a better place. What is your meaning of making meaning?
2. Make mantra - talk can change our lives is a mantra. See the great examples of hypothetical mantras in the manifesto. Do you have a mantra?
3. Get going - think possibility, different, test it as soon as possible. Blogs are ideal places to test ideas and thicken skin. How can you go to market with your idea more quickly?
4. Define your business model - who is your audience? How are you going to get them to part with time and attention? Think of eBay's business model: It charges a listing fee plus a commission. End of story.
5. Weave a mat (milestones, assumptions, and tasks) - Kawasaki lists seven milestones that apply to every business. When you start a blog (or any type of business), you (1) prove your concept; (2) complete design specs; (3) finish a prototype and show it around; (4) raise capital or how are you going to make money; (5) ship/show a testable version to customers; (6) ship/show the final version to customers; (7) achieve break-even. What are some of the assumptions and tasks you should consider?

To me a blog was another opportunity to test how to start and grow something by doing it. And yes, as CEO of my own blog (and the Conversation Agent brand associated with it), the hardest thing to manage is my own ego. I won't let it go to my head and temper it with my heart. Thank you for reading and for your support.

Comments

[Joe Raasch]

Hi Valeria,

Ego as you define it is necessary to have the poise, precision, audacity, and resolve to accomplish great things. No one without a healthy ego could do what you do, or what a surgeon does, or a fighter pilot, or a CEO of a multinational corporation, or a single mother with four children.

It is the application of the ego energy that is the difference between Enron and GE, success and failure, bravado and action, cocky and confident.

You understand this. The space lies at the edge and requires one to stare into the abyss once in a while.

Keep doing what you're doing. We, your loyal readers, will keep you between the ditches...!

[Geoff Livingston]

What ego? I have an ego? Enough about me,what do you think of me?

[Roger von Oech]

Glad to see that you're there serving as a protective buffer from Rosie O'Donnell. Thanks.

[Guy Kawasaki]

I'm glad you took it this way. Not all the Egos (as opposed to egotists) took it this way. I'm thinking of removing Rosie's feed. Are you offended being next to her?

Thanks,

Guy

[Valeria Maltoni]

@Joe -- thank you for such a poetic description. I am enraptured by the terminology and grateful for the offer to keep me honest. Please do. Without you (all my readers) this would be a soliloquy and not a conversation.

@Geoff -- It was always about you, of course :)

@Roger -- thrilled to be of service. I'm looking forward to reading about the birthday celebrations! So many milestones for you this year... Ball of Whacks 25th anniversary, too, right?

[Valeria Maltoni]

Guy,

I tend to get along with everyone, unless they are determined to poke me with a sharp stick.

In reading your book, I am suddenly realizing how companies with microscopes need the material - and the message - even more than entrepreneurs. I will be distributing copies of the ChangeThis manifesto as a primer.

The best kind of book is one you can use immediately. Yours fits the profile, especially in uncertain times (when were times certain?). Thank you for writing it.

[Roger von Oech]

@Guy: The "Rosie thing" is just for fun.

@Valeria: "So many milestones for you this year... Ball of Whacks 25th anniversary, too, right."

Thanks. Actually it's the book "A Whack on the Side of the Head." The new revised and updated "25th Anniversary Edition" is coming out in early May.

[Valeria Maltoni]

Thank you for correcting me, Roger! Now I know what to look for.

[Mario Vellandi]

Why yes, the Ego is a hard thing to manage. I like to think of it as 'the sense of self'. In that regard, it is completely imaginary. Yet a conceptual sense of self is very important in living life as a means of identification and reference. However, a strong belief in and/or attachment to this sense, can be harmful and an arbiter to negative emotions. Combined with a perception of permanence and simplistic causality, a healthy ego is very hard to maintain.

That is unless we cultivate a fluid sense of self, in touch with impermanence and the interdependent nature of all phenomena. I believe such an ego is vastly more capable of maintaining a healthy overall balance of altruism and selfishness.

As you know, this is all very Eastern. While I appreciate Freud's meta model, it does somewhat reflect his animalistic view of mankind, to which I'd like to think we as sentient beings are capable of being 'above'. When I get the time, I'd like to explore the teaching of Carl Jung and get his perspective of things.

[Valeria Maltoni]

Identification and reference are good. Without them, I suspect we would all come quite unhinged. I like to think about having a core set of value to be grounded in, and staying flexible in how we show up.

Yes, Eastern thought has covered the concept differently. Spent many years reading and learning from the thought leaders of the East to temper my Western schooling. My niece wanted to learn about politics, so she went to the bookstore and bought Plato. Being inquisitive is a good trait to have.

[Christopher]

Now I've added Guy's book to my Amazon wish list (which, btw, is 4 pages long), I'm also in the middle of reading 4 books. Perhaps I have the start thing down pat -- can someone write a book about finishing? I'd do it, but you know...

[Rohit]

Valeria,

Glad we agree and thanks for the mention! As bloggers, you're right that once we start to get put into situations like the one with the Alltop, it is up to each of us to maintain our egos without getting egotistical. Looking forward to chatting about this when we finally meet at Blogger Social ... especially given all the "egos" that will be there. ;-)

[Valeria Maltoni]

@Christopher -- I am reading it now and it is opening up new avenues for what I do. We are so much alike in reading. I start two or three books at a time. Can't wait to read them back to back! The Art of the Start is actually about finishing in a sense. How do you get a business up and running from an idea. It's the idea's exit strategy.

@Rohit -- I had to take a different angle, you covered marketing well. Blogger Social will be a blast, I know it. Looking forward to meeting you as well.