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Hi Valeria,

I agree that conversation is a negotiation but one of meaning for your self. We participate, not to convince the other of our point of view but to figure out what our point of view is becoming.

As a contract negotiator I employ this trick all the time ( I can't say I use any of the suggestions made by Fisher and Schapiro - except the face to face one - this is how you evaluate intention).

I approach every negotiation with one thing on my mind - what do I need out of this deal to make the deal work for the business model.

In essence, the only person you negotiate with is yourself - the person on the other side is just there to provide two things:

1. information about what they can and can't do

2. a clear intention to perform their promises ( This is very Eastern - In the west we tend to evaluate capacity to perform - working with some very successful eastern companies you realise this is secondary to evaluating intention to perform.

With this in mind negotiation becomes an exercise in curiosity of their business and mindfulness of your own.

Know what you can trade without compromising your business model and work out the conditions on which you are willing to trade.

I don't know how many times I've been on the other side of a negotiator who will negotiate in the traditional sense and never realise that he has not asked for the things that he really needs from the deal.

This doesn't mean you're silent because you know for the long term relationship to work you have to give it up without the need for them to ask.

And, the same goes for a good conversation.

Valeria - You are right on the money with your insight! Your conversation and negotiation advice is well organized and should be easily followed by those who want to improve their interaction skills. Thank you for sharing your valuable information! - Frank
p.s. - I incorrectly addressed my previous thanks to Maria... please excuse my mistake. - gfb3

Maria - You are right on the money with your insight! Your conversation and negotiation advice is well organized and should be easily followed by those who want to improve their interaction skills. Thank you for sharing your valuable information! - Frank

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