Don't Let me Be Misunderstood

I remember the first time I heard the song. It was played by Santa Esmeralda. Which was the original? To me it did not matter. It was born with a Mediterranean soul, a quality that stayed with you. It speaks of intention, yearning, and much more. It talks about relationships, and stories, and the journey we call life.

Listen to this spectacular Italian version by The Trails Acoustic Trio (thank you, Mike). What do you feel in it? Beyond the lyrics, in the rhythm, the instruments, the beat. I hear and see all the times different is difficult, unpopular. There is no benchmark, it's too new.

I was listening to this interpretation of the song and I was thinking about negotiation of meaning in conversation. As we spend time talking "normal" with each other online, from all over the world, at the speed of Twitter, and FriendFeed, as we join and leave groups and communities, as we carry our personal brand across digital media, we experience each other in the same way neighbors for a day experience each other.

We agree, we disagree, we list, we delist, we listen, we ignore, all for mere fragments of time. We are also adept at marketing at each other - we put our best face forward while we sincerely and honestly build and reconstruct our digital imprint. That is a piece of us, it's not "us", really. It's moments in time that someone with patience would need to reconstruct. If we were to be still in time, which we are not.

Meanwhile the experience of all those exchanges and interactions changes us - the public us or how we think we are genuine online. Relationships are a contact sport. Meaning comes from the myriad little moments of pause, of "I just want to be with you" occurrences, while we negotiate the relationship between what our intent is and what comes across.

Are the conversations we are having true or just real adaptations? Just don't let me be misunderstood.

_____________

Related posts:

Conversation as Negotiation
Revealing Yourself to Others
Two Secrets to Good Writing
Peter Tunjic on Modern Virtues

Comments

[Jay]

>

Well ain't that the timeless question, Val? Suppose the key to put your heart and soul in to it, whether it's an original composition or inspired interpretation.

Witness Nina Simone: http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=5T3FXFnoTzE

Thanks for the great breakdown.

[PRJack]

Thanks for posting that link @Jay! Simone's version was indeed the original - though everyone tends to cridit it to Eric Burdon and the Animals.

Still, a wonderful song no matter who does it... including The Trail Acoustics. Thanks for that V!

And thanks as well for the insightful, almost stream of conciousness, thoughts in your blog. Cool things to think about this weekend.

[Mike Wagner]

Glad to see you posted about this video by The Trail Acoustics Trio.

Had a feeling that it would uncover a conversation waiting to happen.

Keep creating...and recreating,
Mike

[peter]

I don't know ( to your final question)

Though, I see conversation more of a children's party game than a contact sport. You remember pass the parcel. You unwrap meaning as the conversation goes on and on and on. And at the end (supposing there is one), whether it's within minutes or years, there is the prize - but it's not agreement.

I am also fond of the expression "don't get me right" - To my mind, agreement is often the greatest misunderstanding.

Very cool indeed.

[Carolyn Ann]

Maybe that's why I was so bruised for a while? :-)

(Ah, Nina Simone. I saw her in London, she was fantastic and I didn't need to smoke anything illegal to get high. The kids [sic... I was but a kid, myself!] in front of me smoked enough to get everyone high...)

"Negotiation of meaning"? I once sat through an hour meeting with an idiot who parsed language fine enough that he would have been better using a sifter. (And I was the unfortunate twit who got to write it all up, afterwards.) There's a line that is often crossed - what we mean, especially when we use colloquialisms, isn't what is heard (or read). All too often people (aka "bloggers") say they will be "honest" and "forthright", and they are anything but (I think you've made that point a few times). Whenever I read someone saying they will be "honest", I cringe - and, if I'm interested enough - I'll start to parse their words. I'll read between them, and see if there is any meaning, any "there", there. All too often, there isn't, because they want everyone to perceive them as somehow "wonderful", "erudite" or something. It's the one thing that will forever stand in the way of corporate honesty. That, and the threat of consumer or shareholder lawsuits if they're *too* honest.

After McCain's parsing of, and the right-wing (but not conservative) acceptance of that contortion, of the meaning of "fundamental", your point is especially relevant. (I can't help but think that Berlusconi and Brown (not to mention Chavez and Kirchner) are in need of some help with this topic, also!)

Personally, I find it's easier to not care what others think of me. Which is something a corporation, or a politician, can't do. Neither can a consultant, for that matter. Does that make the entire debate moot, before it gets interesting? I hope not.

Carolyn Ann

[Ari Herzog]

The better question, Valeria, is if we're conversing in the first place.

When you write something and 3, 5, 10, 500 people read it, you might as well be confessing your sins on public radio because anyone who is everyone in the community responds.

Words and languages change, but music transcends all. When you consider a deaf person can hear music through its vibrations, is anything impossible? I say no. Life is beautiful.

I understand you. Keep doing what you do.

[Valeria Maltoni]

@Jay - passion is key, I agree. Thank you for sharing the Nina Simone link. That is such a timeless interpretation.

@PRJack - it was what I call a smooth post. Not too many edits or revisions, just what came about as I was listening. Hope it is stimulating and helps you connect with bigger ideas.

@Mike - your encouragement helped. There were many thoughts racing through my mind as I was listening, so the post could have gone into many different directions.

[Valeria Maltoni]

@Peter - in relationships I also like mystery a lot. How the story unravels, changes, feels. "To my mind, agreement is often the greatest misunderstanding." I'll be thinking about this one, it's an interesting departure.

@Carolyn Ann - I'm liking what Peter says here, don't get me right is quite attractive at the moment ;-) You made me laugh out loud at the thought of precise language and parsing meaning. Things like "there's never been a better time to be here" and other myths about happy talk also came to mind. I think Berlusconi is in need of help on many things... language and words are not strong allies of his. You located the point of pain - brands, corporations, public figures need to care about how they are perceived, hence the vicious cycle. Let's ask the public what they think and then let's behave that way if it suits us. "Does that make the entire debate moot, before it gets interesting?" I'm with you, I hope not.

@Ari - I don't know what your readership is, or comment volume. We enjoy a pretty intimate conversation here. I like to get to know (with all the limitations of that term) the individuals who choose to comment and interact here. I treasure the feedback. If anyone here knows me, they will agree with this statement. The community thus is rather close. But you're right, people see the world as *they* are and they interpret. Music is very personal because it allows for even more and closer interpretation. I would not know if any other way of being, although I do a fair amount of experimenting here ;-)

[Neil Anuskiewicz]

I think this version by, "The Trails Acoustic Trio" has more passion and energy than the Eric Burton (The Animals) version.

As for being misunderstood, I find it happens to me when I do one or both of the following (they usually go together):

1. Lose mindfulness of the present moment.

2. Do not listen well.

3. And, related to 2, talk too much and listen too little.