Conversation Agent - Valeria Maltoni - You've Got Comments

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Your suggestion: "Stop trying so hard. Think about giving and place no expectation on getting. That's the secret." Spot on. It's advice that I needed. Thanks Valeria.

Are comments that important? Personally, I don't think they are. I often think that some bloggers depend on comments for some sort of personal affirmation. That sort of thing is pure nonsense, of course - if you need the accolades of others to feel that that you're of value, then you're not actually feeling that you're of value, at all! That's psychological problem, not a blogging issue!

If it is a "relationship" the blogger is seeking, then obviously comments matter, but they have to be two-way; a one-way conversation isn't a relationship, it's a waste of time. Such a "relationship" also has to addressed as a personal relationship; what is it, otherwise? Fair-weather friendship? (Who needs those?) But what is a relationship that has a sole venue? It might be called a relationship, but it can never be truly important. But there again, the throw-away relationship is as popular as its ever been, these fine days. (I often think that blogging hasn't furthered the art of the relationship at all; indeed, it seems to be quite the limiter! A new sense of adventure is discovered when people do what's been done for centuries... Is that limiting, new, or simply an adaptation? I'm unable to decide! Perhaps there is no decision necessary, or even to be made?)

Conversations can be disjointed - it's the nature of the beast that holds them. The Internet, and its various du jour applications, didn't invent the disconnected conversation, although many seem to think it's a new form of communication. In other eras such conversation was generally called "gossip"... Some bloggers do have issues with such commentary, but they might as well try to be King Canute or Sisyphus. As the saying goes: it's better they're talking about you, than not! (Was it Mae West who said that?)

Of course, the elocutionary skills of the commentators matters. An endless series of "oh yeah's" doesn't make for additional enlightenment, comprehension or even a half-way decent conversation. But considered points reflecting, disagreeing or varying the points made - that could be a conversation!

Personally, I don't care if someone comments on my blog, or not. While I appreciate all 3 of my readers, I don't write for others, but the simplicity of the soliloquy is all I desire. That being said, comments do provide a lively aspect to blogs - I typically read them as avidly as the original blog post! - but whether they are important depends upon the goals, and needs, of the blog-writer.

Carolyn Ann

@Rich - the obsession we have with measurement sometimes prevents us from learning about ourselves and others. When I have a good conversation with someone, I hardly notice how much of the talking is valuable because the answer is all of it within the context of the stories we are exchanging and the connection we could be making. We cannot be everywhere, but how are we in the places where we are? Thank you for the feedback on utilizing something seen here. The smallest things can solve the biggest problems...

@Ari - there is relationships between attention and context. If one creates the context, they also get most of the attention - whether that is intentional or not. I care about all the people who leave comments, even those who leave spam. In fact, I remember all the people who have traveled through here during their journey or I met at any event I attended. Connecting ideas and people is not a mere tagline, it's who I am and what I have been doing my whole life. So I do have an idea of what you are saying.

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  • Since 2006, Conversation Agent focuses on business, technology, digital culture, and human behavior. At Conversation Agent LLC, I help organizations and brands that want to build better experiences tell a new story.


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