How do You Know?

[Failure: the Secret to success, 8:19"]

I'd like to try something different today, maybe it's because I've been spending more time on FriendFeed and Twitter. I'd love it if you did most of the talking here - I know we will all get ideas for follow up projects that way.

Many of you reading have been involved with social media at least a little - enough to want to learn more, experiment with your own formats, enjoy the connections. I've done my fair share of interviews on both sides - asking questions, and answering questions, depending on how the conversation started. One of the most frequently asked questions is:

What makes Conversation Agent (or you overall) successful?

For me, it's a combination of things:

1. Reading and learning by doing constantly, and thinking about what others share
2. Observing relationships, connections, time, and attention patterns
3. Listening actively in the comments and conversations wherever they may be, and listening in the measurements (that is feedback, too)
4. Being willing to go where the conversation is
5. Collaborating with the community of readers and professionals
6. Being absolutely in love with everything about thinking together (writing and talking)
7. Experimenting with new formats often (not always, that would get you dizzy) and failing frequently - the more and faster I fail, the more I learn
8. Providing a cohesive body of work for those who wish a deeper dive
9. Working hard on content so that (hopefully) it's helpful to you
10. Researching but also creating and building context

My question back to you:

How do you know what makes you successful? When was the first time you felt you were onto something? Was there such a time? Are you carving a path for yourself to build on that success?

Hint: the more I get to know you, the more helpful I can be in my content and in helping you make connections.

[bonus link, my interview with the talented Patsi Krakoff, co-founder of The Blog Squad on content marketing insights]

Comments

[Julius Kuhn-Regnier]

As you said I think everyone has his own definition of success. To some it might be earning money, to others it is having a big family.

For me success in life means to be happy. There's nothing else that I think is more important.

[ana ma roopa]

for me, it has been in realizing that social media experts are totally old-paradigm, are mostly emotional enablers, and it is no longer necessary to pay attention to them. which is anyway, what they mostly want.

[Brian DR1665]

For me, success would be living within, nay, beneath your means. If you can adjust your expenses to come out to less than you make, and you enjoy what you do each and every day, then I think you are successful.

Beyond that, I realized yesterday that, while I enjoy learning I have a new follower on Twitter, the best is when new followers become a part of my daily conversations. Some of my contacts discuss social media topics, while others talk motorsport and cars. Being able to converse with such a diverse group of individuals and see the lines between these two subject begin to blur is exciting.

What if "doing what I love" evolves into *everything* I love and still living within my means? It's exciting to think about...

[Capsule]

Just discovered you via The Brand Builder and will definitely visit again!

[Carolyn Ann]

Living life. :-)

I can look around me, right now, and see some art that is both good and interesting, a disabled cat - whom I taught to kiss! - we saved (the rest of them are upstairs, sleeping), and a house that I am slowly (far too slowly) transforming into our home.

But that's all materialistic; it's important, but it isn't at the same time. I've accomplished some dreams, and have some others I'll get to. Overall, I can say I'm successful because, well, I'm here.

(And if that seems selfish: I wouldn't be the same person without my lover of these past 19 years! That she's with me, is something beyond words.)

I'm not sure that's the answer you were looking for; my apologies! :-)

Carolyn Ann

[Carolyn Ann]

Darn! I wish there was an "edit" button - I didn't do a read through before hitting "post".

Saving the cats wasn't materialistic. The art is simultaneously materialistic and not. The house is materialistic; my motorcycles are materialistic - and not.

An endless debate re materialism will now ensue within myself. :-)

If I question myself, can I say I've conquered one aspect of life?

Carolyn Ann

[Sheryl Schuff, CPA]

Feedback is what tells me that I'm successful, primarily when people thank me for what I do. This applies not just to my business/professional life, but to my personal/social life as well. (I say that because many people think of them separately, but, for me, they're actually one and the same.)

If people are thanking me, then I know I'm doing good stuff...helping folks and being of service.

And that brings me a great sense of peace. And that's the success I want.

[Dennis]

I posted the same video but a completely different take. I am interested not in SM only but how entrepreneurs RESPOND (taking action is one of your themes , right?) and I posted a little story about a cafe owner who did just that.

[Brian Costello]

Success, for me, comes from listening but then forming ideas around what I have heard. I find that a conversation creates ideas that can be melded like clay -- one simple thing I have heard, and talked to someone about creates an image or idea that snowballs into a new idea -- that I bounce back and keep forming.

[Valeria Maltoni]

@Julius - is being happy an outcome, or is it an attitude, something we can decide for ourselves? Can someone else or something else determine our level of happiness? I'm exploring with you.

@ana - I welcome you with open arms, even as you seem uncertain as to how you'd like to participate to the conversation. I see it as we are all "us" - there is no "them". You and I are part of it. How would you lead?

@Brian - thought-provoking. In his book, The Art of Possibility, Ben Zander suggests we become the board - the stage on which life is played, taking responsibility for what happens on it. I'm seeing a bit of that in your response.

@Capsule - that was fast! I look forward to your next visit.

@Carolyn Ann - my point of view of materialism is that we are also material - flesh and bones, and all of that. Substance that looks for sustenance and it's ok to rely on other materials to lean on - shelter, food, transportation, etc. all in the proper balance they all matter (do they have the same root?). See what you've done? We've gone exploring a different question altogether. And that is just fine. Success can also mean being content with asking the questions and not knowing all the answers.

@Sheryl - I really liked your take. Feedback is everywhere in nature as well, isn't it? It's a very powerful conversation of listening and learning with others. I'm really glad we had the opportunity to meet on Twitter.

@Dennis - the video is very powerful. My success depends totally on my ability and willingness to fail a little every day, so I can see longer term, deeper, differently. Thank you. I will check out your story.

@Brian - I observed that it depends on how we enter the conversation. Sometimes we're the ball.

[@CASUDI]

I know what makes me successful when I analyze (review) what I have done to solve a problem and use this information again (and again) and it works again (& again) always building on the information and continuing to review it. However I am careful not to create an inflexible solution pattern and I have done that too, resulting in known failure! Success to me is solving interesting and difficult problems for design clients, friends, family and the entrepreneurs I interface with. I am very fortunate that when I am successful, I get positive feedback and Thanks. I can actually remember using this self analysis of my success when quite young (6 or 7 years old) in dealing with my parents successfully. Definitely I am trying to build a superhighway, rather then carving a path, to build on my success.

.

[Julius Kuhn-Regnier]

@Valeria I think happiness is something we can decide for ourselves. For me it's a principle in life. What are all the riches worth if you are not happy?

Even when I have a bad day, I take a look at my principles and think "I shouldn't be angry, one of my most important principles is it to be happy and so I should be happy." By thinking that way I am happy more often, more forgiving and much more grateful.

I think outsiders can have an impact on your "level" of happiness but ultimately it is something you can decide for yourself. The impact outsiders can have on you depends on the "strength" of your character. The less you have, the more your happiness depends on the opinion of other people.

Think of concentration camp prisoners, some of them practiced gratitude and happiness in one of the worst situations they probably have ever experienced.