How do You Know?

[Failure: the Secret to success, 8:19"]

I'd like to try something different today, maybe it's because I've been spending more time on FriendFeed and Twitter. I'd love it if you did most of the talking here - I know we will all get ideas for follow up projects that way.

Many of you reading have been involved with social media at least a little - enough to want to learn more, experiment with your own formats, enjoy the connections. I've done my fair share of interviews on both sides - asking questions, and answering questions, depending on how the conversation started. One of the most frequently asked questions is:

What makes Conversation Agent (or you overall) successful?

For me, it's a combination of things:

1. Reading and learning by doing constantly, and thinking about what others share
2. Observing relationships, connections, time, and attention patterns
3. Listening actively in the comments and conversations wherever they may be, and listening in the measurements (that is feedback, too)
4. Being willing to go where the conversation is
5. Collaborating with the community of readers and professionals
6. Being absolutely in love with everything about thinking together (writing and talking)
7. Experimenting with new formats often (not always, that would get you dizzy) and failing frequently - the more and faster I fail, the more I learn
8. Providing a cohesive body of work for those who wish a deeper dive
9. Working hard on content so that (hopefully) it's helpful to you
10. Researching but also creating and building context

My question back to you:

How do you know what makes you successful? When was the first time you felt you were onto something? Was there such a time? Are you carving a path for yourself to build on that success?

Hint: the more I get to know you, the more helpful I can be in my content and in helping you make connections.

[bonus link, my interview with the talented Patsi Krakoff, co-founder of The Blog Squad on content marketing insights]

Comments

[Julius Kuhn-Regnier]

@Valeria I think happiness is something we can decide for ourselves. For me it's a principle in life. What are all the riches worth if you are not happy?

Even when I have a bad day, I take a look at my principles and think "I shouldn't be angry, one of my most important principles is it to be happy and so I should be happy." By thinking that way I am happy more often, more forgiving and much more grateful.

I think outsiders can have an impact on your "level" of happiness but ultimately it is something you can decide for yourself. The impact outsiders can have on you depends on the "strength" of your character. The less you have, the more your happiness depends on the opinion of other people.

Think of concentration camp prisoners, some of them practiced gratitude and happiness in one of the worst situations they probably have ever experienced.

[@CASUDI]

I know what makes me successful when I analyze (review) what I have done to solve a problem and use this information again (and again) and it works again (& again) always building on the information and continuing to review it. However I am careful not to create an inflexible solution pattern and I have done that too, resulting in known failure! Success to me is solving interesting and difficult problems for design clients, friends, family and the entrepreneurs I interface with. I am very fortunate that when I am successful, I get positive feedback and Thanks. I can actually remember using this self analysis of my success when quite young (6 or 7 years old) in dealing with my parents successfully. Definitely I am trying to build a superhighway, rather then carving a path, to build on my success.

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[Valeria Maltoni]

@Julius - is being happy an outcome, or is it an attitude, something we can decide for ourselves? Can someone else or something else determine our level of happiness? I'm exploring with you.

@ana - I welcome you with open arms, even as you seem uncertain as to how you'd like to participate to the conversation. I see it as we are all "us" - there is no "them". You and I are part of it. How would you lead?

@Brian - thought-provoking. In his book, The Art of Possibility, Ben Zander suggests we become the board - the stage on which life is played, taking responsibility for what happens on it. I'm seeing a bit of that in your response.

@Capsule - that was fast! I look forward to your next visit.

@Carolyn Ann - my point of view of materialism is that we are also material - flesh and bones, and all of that. Substance that looks for sustenance and it's ok to rely on other materials to lean on - shelter, food, transportation, etc. all in the proper balance they all matter (do they have the same root?). See what you've done? We've gone exploring a different question altogether. And that is just fine. Success can also mean being content with asking the questions and not knowing all the answers.

@Sheryl - I really liked your take. Feedback is everywhere in nature as well, isn't it? It's a very powerful conversation of listening and learning with others. I'm really glad we had the opportunity to meet on Twitter.

@Dennis - the video is very powerful. My success depends totally on my ability and willingness to fail a little every day, so I can see longer term, deeper, differently. Thank you. I will check out your story.

@Brian - I observed that it depends on how we enter the conversation. Sometimes we're the ball.