Freedom from Choice

Wednesday we got together with a group of amazing professionals to breathe new life into the social network that was formerly known as Company of Friends (CoF). Some of you may have seen the tweets about the breakfast invitation.

We pulled it together in a few minutes. I sent the note to the group, and my friend Brenda from Villanova University made a venue available and connected me with Lee at Saxbys Coffee, who brought organic fresh brew the morning of the event.

A few minutes 9 years in the making and things fell into place. It all started with my choice to set aside some time and just do it.

My invitation was simple:

We're in a tough spot right now. Many of us are either putting their dreams on hold to survive, or are in overdrive to find a new opportunity because in transition.

I'm an optimist. I think if we resist the urge of falling into the scarcity mindset, we can indeed make the pie bigger for ourselves and everyone else.

Let's do that, together.

We started the conversation on social networking and social media almost 9 years ago, let's continue it at breakfast - as a regular appointment. We will call it the *CoF Social Network Breakfast*.

On Wednesday, as I listened to what each person in the room was sharing about themselves, here's what I heard:

1. Wanting to create something

What's driving people away from many companies are not just the layoffs. It's also the idea that they are mere cogs fulfilling the expectations, and assumptions, of others. I see that all the time even from very smart people.

2. Realizing we're in it together

This is something else that is hard to do in many organizations - working together, sharing, and giving. Somehow personal objectives seem to run counter or be at odds with collaboration. Realistically, it's hard to do on the outside as well.

3. Understanding that what makes us great is what sets us apart

The more we resist the urge to copy someone else, the better chance we will have to become actors of our own destiny. This is one of the conversations I enjoyed with one of my mentors, Skip, who is the founder of Team and a Dream.

4. Knowing we need to believe in ourselves

This is the hardest part. It's much safer to doubt, than it is to believe. Yet, as we went around the room with introductions, more and more voices started growing stronger and clearer - here's what I'm about, here's what I can do, here's what I offer.

5. Owning a piece of the conversation, by choice

And not because of the spreadsheet, or the project plan, or the job description. Determining the value we add and our purpose is important, but not more important than honoring the fact that you (and others) choose to show up as individuals ready to contribute.

Let's stop being afraid to share because someone might steal our idea. If it's any good, you'll have to ram it down their throats anyway. And execution matters - trust your experience. Someone else will not be able to copy who you are and how you can do it.

There is no template, if there ever was one. I'm a contrarian, I made a life out of testing convention and breaking the rules. This post was inspired by the twenty plus new people and friends I had the honor of meeting this week and by something Jonathan wrote last August:

Some people just don’t want freedom of choice though, they want freedom from it. (If that’s your case, your cog will fit nicely in many pre-determined places.)

To that I say, no thanks. What say you?

Bonus: If you read Italian, you might enjoy the interviews I did with Claudia at Expatclic and the one I did with Daniela at Girl Geek Dinners Italia.

[image by Richard Binhammer]

Comments

[J. Paul Duplantis (Quired)]

We are cogs in a wheel most of the time because we let people put us there.

We need to move away from the job owning us to us owning the job. (Or the opportunity)

With ownership comes responsibility. How many have taken their
job for granted where maybe they felt entitled to the position. Or possibly
entitled to succeed with a business opportunity.

In this harsh economic climate everything will be harder that is a certainty. It
will certainly be harder to find a job and start a business but you will not be alone.

Those who work hard, work smart and reach deeper to connect will have more opportunity for success.

Will all who follow this formula reach success? Of course not but their chances for success are much greater.

We need to move from the realm of social media being the magic bullet or a panacea. It is simply a tool that if not used with the right intent can be unproductive and potentially destructive.

And please let's start to move away from the notion that (open and free) has to compete with commerce.

Now is the time to make money. Make it for all the right reasons and with the right message but it still boils down to paying the bills.

The tools are in place but the message and intent still need plenty of work.

[Brian DR1665]

Those who don't get it, are paralyzed by their fear of change, or who are just too lazy to make the effort will find solace in being that random gear in the larger machine. We're all parts of a machine on some level, but we're not all simple cogs.

Last time I checked, engines don't have cogs. Some people are pistons, pressurizing resources to prepare for the spark. Connecting rods support the pistons, transferring the energy from combustion into the core of the organization, where bearings ensure friction is kept to a minimum as linear motion is converted to torque, which gets the whole thing moving. Only then can the clutch modulate the engagement of the transmission so as to minimize shock on the gears, which multiply, reduce or reverse A on it's way to B. If the organization is Earth-friendly, there are people who ensure a minimum of waste and emissions along the way.

Is management sitting in the driver's seat, working the pedals, shifting the gears, and steering the whole thing or are the individual systems autonomous, each knowing how it contributes to the whole?

Yeah. I'm a gear head. It's how I think. I just feel that it's important not to think of everyone as "cogs." You know what you can build with a box of cogs? A pile of cogs. Without all the other parts, there is nothing.

Not everyone can be an astronaut or rockstar, but if everyone is honest about what they do and how they do it, it's possible to get all the different parts together to build a high performance organization.

[Richard Binhammer]

Glad you liked the photo enough to use with great post and glad you got the Company of Friends embarked on a journey "down the track"...I hope you enjoy it and are inspired to head down those tracks making a difference all the way

[Valeria Maltoni]

@J. Paul - I agree, we need to hold ourselves accountable for where we are. Even when politics would want to silence you, you can still share what you know with the world by publishing it before it becomes a slide on someone else's PowerPoint :) Poor execution will show, lack of experience is clear, etc. Yes, these are tools, but they can be powerful when enrolled into making something valuable happen.

@Brian - I just want to say how much I enjoyed your metaphor. More so because I strongly believe we're all connected and therefore need each other now more than ever. We each bring a specialized skill and talent to the whole. Where I see failure it is that of recognizing this fundamental principle. The desire to control also comes from the insecurity and inability to contribute to the success of others and therefore the success of the whole.

@Richard - you know I've long admired your photographs. Indeed a journey of a thousand miles begins with one single step.