Being Helpful is the New Black

I'm almost thinking of changing my tagline from connecting ideas and people to being helpful is the new black.

Here's why I like it as a brand: it's simple, descriptive, it inspires action, evokes emotional intelligence and it's sustainable - all in one phrase. Alexandra said it well, it could be an organization's mantra. I'm thinking it definitely is good karma.

What does being helpful translate to as behaviors? Does it help move, attract, inspire different behaviors in others? I mean we're pretty much done with the conversation, right? We want to have more agent, a little less conversation now.

For me it means:

• finding opportunities to give back without asking for anything
• paying extra attention to a detail that will make me a better connector
• taking the time to pull back from the deep in-the-weeds and into-my-head thinking and observing/enjoying the activities/ideas of others
• going that extra mile in gratitude by proofing an article, providing guidance, sharing resources
• collaborating with a team at work and letting others lead to new knowledge
• joining projects spontaneously without bossing anyone around or wanting to take the credit
• choosing to be totally awesome, even when the little voice in my head wants to hold back
• giving marketing its good name back by creating value
• putting the public back in public relations, improving reputation and earning the trust of the community
• building community or helping others create community around their projects
• reflecting on the consequences of an action before taking it, there's a bit of jumping the gun with news announcements these days...
• staying positive and true to myself

This and keeping a good sense of humor is what I'm focusing on at the moment. My days tend to get filled with interesting projects and the occasional challenge calling for a miracle. What about you? How do you think about being helpful?

Please note: being helpful doesn't mean agreeing with each other all the time. The whole point of being honest and transparent is allowing others to see our differences, and agreeing to accept theirs. I often thank people when they argue with me. It makes me more aware of my choices and the strength of my conviction when they do. And I don't need to be right all the time. Do you? Plus, as I often say, we can be tough on the issues, soft on the people.

[t-shirt image created at SpreadShirt]

Comments

[Taylor Davidson]

"being helpful doesn't mean agreeing with each other all the time"

Some of the best help comes from criticism (constructive and non-constructive).

"Being helpful" is an easy way to understand how collaboration works today; actions undertaken without direct or intended financial returns can have a meaningful impact (financial and non-financial, directly and indirectly).

[Matt Martin]

The key point is being helpful without expecting anything in return and communicating this upfront. Its sad statement on society but I have found people taken aback when I offered to do, or have done, something for them with no strings attached.

I think we all have "waiting for the other shoe to drop" syndrome and we are all running with our shields up. That makes building trust that much harder to do but once you do it can be magic.

[Richie Escovedo]

Valeria, I absolutely love this idea. I am especially encouraged by your point, "choosing to be totally awesome, even when the little voice in my head wants to hold back" - this speaks to the confidence one needs both professionally and personally. Thank you for sharing these actionable thoughts.

[Harriet Meth]

A powerful message for the simplicity in how it is stated and the philosophy behind the concept. Truly the quintessential WYSIWYG.

People - and businesses - could embrace it and wear it, not as a fashion statement, but a lifestyle statement. Who knows, maybe it can replace the overused Mission Statement as the new Statement of Purpose.

[Christa M. Miller]

I feel very grateful to be in a space where collaboration beats out competition and sharing gives something to everyone rather than taking pieces away. Thanks for putting it so succinctly, Valeria.

[Bruce Christensen]

I wonder if the new black would go well with a white hat?

[Meryl K Evans]

Valeria, this thinking will help us all (at least the ones who care and are authentic) to build rich relationships in social media. Give without expecting anything in return.

Of course, take care not to overbook yourself. An overbooked person is going to have a tough time staying upbeat. Gotta take care of yourself, too.

[Chris Baskind]

What a "helpful" and positive post. :-)

[Valeria Maltoni]

@Taylor - if I hear another contact throw at me the ROI thing I think I'm going to throw up. Many would not even know where to begin with measuring business impact and correlation to top line growth. Yet, just like SEO, ROI has become the acronym du-jour. Amazing that some of us would be able to get jobs without understanding how to set goals, build strategies, and measure success that way... we probably did because we know how to?

@Matt - that's a very interesting statement. I have not found that. What I found though is some measure of entitlement or taking for granted on the part of those on the receiving end. Then again, that is *their* problem, isn't it?

@Richie - that is the hardest point. It would be so easy to go with the flow, do exactly as you're told... not in the cards for me, I'm afraid. Aspiration gets the best of my intent every time and I work harder to do more/different.

@Harriet - I like the idea of a lifestyle statement. We need new language. There's nothing wrong with the existing words, just they have been so abused and misaligned on outputs and results. Statement of Purpose has a nice ring to it and a whole new commitment behind it.

@Christa - we're in the beginnings of what this will be, still. One day, we'll look back and think how silly it was to talk endlessly about Twitter and Facebook :) Glad to have met you.

@Bruce - it's your game, you wear what you want :)

@Meryl - good advice I will need to take. It's often feast and famine. Long stretches with nothing going on like this summer, then all of a sudden things heat up.

@Chris - thank you for stopping by. We can't wait for the relaunch of your site ;)

[Steph Skordas]

Hate the cliche, but this is a "stop and smell the roses" reminder that I really needed. Thanks for putting together all these great little ideas that can make a big difference.

Very helpful :)

[Tamsen (@tamadear)]

Perhaps it's just semantics, but I prefer "Be useful."

To me, helpfulness is about giving a man a fish. Usefulness is teaching a man to fish.

I want to plant seeds, not give flowers.

[Valeria Maltoni]

@Steph - a good reminder for us all for sure.

@Tamsen - Yes, indeed semantics - and I'm a linguist! But I don't split hairs, I go for intent. To me the attitude of being of service is more powerful than providing the self check-out counter. The greatest change we can affect is that of our own attitude. Thank you for stopping by - great point.

[Ceci Dadisman]

I work in non-profit marketing and being helpful and kind is part of the job. To this end (and not to create a commercial for my own site) we as consultants should be willing to give friendly helpful advice in the name of the greater good: better marketing. Here is my contribution to the cause: http://www.enewsletterhelp.org

[Victoria Kamm]

I had a discussion with my business partner this morning about how we could participate more in our community. Social media can make us forget to think locally.

Kindness and helpfulness can be as simple as fully listening to clients. Thanks for the reminder.

[Danny Brown]

Your first point sums it up beautifully, Valeria - "finding opportunities to give back without asking for anything".

So many people freely give out help or favours, but then expect something back either immediately or down the line.

The whole point of it being a "favour" is because you WANT to help, not help to boost the amount of favours you can call in further on.

Thanks for a simple yet powerful message. I'll have a box of tees, please!

[Taylor Davidson]

Valeria: um, I didn't mention the unmentionable :)

[Fred H Schlegel]

With a goal of being helpful it might remind to be open to being helped. Not a bad thing for any organization. Two way learning improves any system.

[Ricardo Bueno]

For me, being helpful means doing just that, "being helpful." I work with the "solve, don't sell" philosophy in mind. If I'm helping someone solve one of their issues/problems and (I quote: "...keeping a good sense of humor..."), then I've done my job.

[Whitney Hoffman]

So, I went to try to buy this shirt, and it's not publicly available- I think we should spread this gem around!

[Valeria Maltoni]

@Ceci - I'll go for better marketing any day. Thank you for sharing your story and practices.

@Victoria - it's interesting to observe that once the people we meet online feel close by, we do tend to withdraw a little bit from participating in the physical, local community. Good to be reminded with you!

@Danny - didn't think that the tees would become a social object (see also Whitney below :). In my observation, it is much easier and indeed likely that one would help someone who doesn't expect anything back, than the other kind who's thinking in terms of quid pro quo. It's almost the same correlation we have between spontaneous word of mouth and push marketing.

@Taylor - the story. During a recent Twitter chat about the long tail of content with your blog the conversation took a left turn when a non participant started challenging the topic with insistence on ROI. Perhaps they thought they were being helpful when they started criticizing me for not indulging in that conversation while moderating the other. There needs to be some emotional intelligence on when being helpful as well.

@Fred - excellent point. How many times I can remember also the help being received differently by title in the corp. hierarchy - if a VP says something, it's helpful; if it's a manager, it's not that important, for example.

@Ricardo - working to solve is a good rule of thumb. Good sense of humor is the balm of life. Thank you for reminding us.

@Whitney - I knew I should have thought of that! At the time I was thinking about a good image to complement the post ;)

[Jamie Lee Wallace]

This post was a great way to start my week.

One of the things I enjoy most about the Social Web is the opportunity it brings to connect people to resources, ideas, and other people. I started out by founding a small & rather informal moms' group. It was a labor of love. My "ROI" was the good feeling I got when someone on my mailing list thanked me for linking them to a great resource, giving them the heads up on a fun event, or writing a post that made their world a little brighter.

Though my current day-to-day world is much more business-focused, I try to carry that sense of "service without strings" with me. Though some pundits I read make me feel like a bit of a naive Pollyanna type, I've always liked the statement "Nice matters." I realize that it doesn't matter to EVERYone, but I'm pretty sure it matters to the people I want to partner with. ;)

[Geoff Livingston]

Being helpful is fashionable... It is also something that hopefully is contagious, and touches peoples hearts. I have found it to be that way with me, and it has forever changed my work and approach to life.

[Michael Tuggle]

This manner of thinking is such the antithesis of the "me-first" thinking that has in so many ways been so destructive. Personally, I think the "give first" - "serve others" way of thinking is the key to a happier, more productive life, country, community, family, business - you name it. As many have suggested, I too hope this becomes "fashionable" and more people embrace it.

[Helen Lundholm]

people always want what other people have to be happy...but what they don't know is that, if they took a good look at what they actually do have and used it in the right way....(being helpful)it's for free and makes you happy!

[Eva G.]

This is a great post. It is perfect, simple advice that can translate to any industry.