Top 5 Rejected Names for the New Apple iPad

From the reports on Wikio trends, and Retrevo's Buzzmeter (Twitter), it looks like we had more conversations about Jobs than we did about Obama Wednesday night. Some of the new Apple tablet buzz quickly uncovered some controversy surrounding the name of the new iPad (which is abominable, of course).

A source close to Apple has leaked a memo about the device's naming process exclusively to Conversation Agent. Is it genuine? You be the judge. Here's the leaked memo.

Top 5 Rejected Names for the New Apple iPad

iPwnd - Because, well, we're Apple. Pwning is what we do.

iPaid - Oh, you'll pay. Not just for the device -- we're not making much margin on our hardware. But that's fine. Think of the iPad as the cover charge you'd gladly hand over just to get through the front door of some hot nightclub. Once we've got you inside, we know the cover is going to make you think twice about leaving. So you'll buy drinks, at whatever price we care to charge. Or movies, applications, books, and music. See iPwnd.

iPoor - See iPaid.

iProud - You'd have to be to buy a first generation Apple device. So you wanna be the first hipster to drag one of these glossy babes into MochaLatte Bistro? Thanks for being our crash test dummy. Heck, we're even giving a brand-new chip a shot in this thing. Good luck with that.

iPrettyMuchOutofIdeas - This is obvious, isn't it? iPad -- REALLY? No, we don't let women within miles of Steve's hermetically sealed Special Projects room. If we did, they'd have collapsed in a gale of laughter the moment we told them the iPad's name. It only took Twitter about 15 seconds to figure this out during the rollout keynote. 

Hmm ... maybe we should introduce an iPad Twitter client next. We'll call it the iTwat. Boys, what do you think?

Well, there you have it. Apple, the forbidden fruit. Product naming development at its best. Did I mention it's super thin?

Comments

[Akash Sharma]

Apart from this one "iPrettyMuchOutofIdeas" all the others look like too funny concept names which could have never made the production.
we finally have the iPad, lets see how does it get on with sales.

[Laurie Creasy]

You made me snort my coffee.

[Rebel Brown]

It would be so great if we could have a discussion about the product and its value - instead of taking shots at a name.

Unfortunately some people would rather focus on hyping a negative than on the positive step forward - probably because Drama Sells.

Does anyone really think we wont buy the iPad because of the name? If that's the case -think again.

We seem to have gone to a new low - poking crass and crude jokes at a name - when in fact, the product is a GREAT first step toward a slimline all-in-one mobile device.

Apple will laugh all the way to the bank as students, teachers, traveling professionals, vacationers and more flock to the iPAD. WE are focused on how it can help us be more productive. And frankly, a name doesn't matter when it comes to value. At least not to the people who are spending the $s.

Maybe once the attack-the-name frenzy is over we can all take a step back and focus on what's important. Product value...which the iPAD delivers.

[Rebel Brown]

Hey Valeria

Just to follow up after our email exchange - and to clarify. My comment was NOT meant as a personal judgment and if you felt that way I most humbly apologize.

My comment was focused at the industry at large - and our continued need for negative drama to sell our perspectives. It's just getting old for many of us who want to focus on positive progress and things that really really matter in our lives.

With the iPad (and I dont like the name either but it just isnt a deal killer) Apple released a great next step in the way we access and deliver digital content. Its not perfect. But its a darned good step.
It uses the iPhone's kick tail interface to deliver seamless (and slim) access to social networks, news, email, websites, blogs, books, movies, videos, iTunes, documents, spreadsheets, presentations and over 140,000 applications. That's a pretty cool start. Especially for student, teachers, traveling professionals, vacationers and more. There is so much value to this product - beyond any naming issue. I sincerely doubt Apple's brand isn't going to suffer because of an iPAD name...

Again, I apologize if you felt judged - but I'll also stick to my belief that all this conversation over a name seems to miss an important point - the value Apple delivered to us all. I'll personally laugh all the way to the next plane - minus about 10 pounds of carry on in my briefcase!

All the best

reb

[Chris Baskind]

Rebel, there have been more articles written about the iPad -- including many solidly analytical ones -- than all the stars in the sky. Valeria usually offers fun posts on a Friday. This made me smile.

[Dan Wedin]

This was funny. I didn't think it was negative. It was a quick roast of the iPad.

[NWGuy]

Valeria,

Laurie is correct; this was a great entry to the day. We all need a little more fun and humor.

If only we could all create such great publicity around a product, regardless of the name. Apple definitely knows how to create launch momentum and then let the product speak for itself.

[Danny Brown]

Best weekend starter ever, Valeria, cheers :)

The name is crazy for sure - or is that iThink? ;-) But does look a preety cool concept, so dulls the laughter a little. Okay, a *tiny* little :)

Have a great weekend!

[LisaNewton]

"Product naming development"

Isn't there an app for that?

[Elja]

I admire apple for creating the hype. But I loved this post for making me smile. Thanks! :-)

[Darwin]

I must be the only person on earth who actualy thought of a writing pad when I heard the name "iPad".
Seems like a good name to me...but then I'm mentally older than 6, and don't go "tee-hee tee-hee" when something sounds remotely like a feminine hygiene product.

[Valeria Maltoni]

@Akash - agreed. At the end of the day, a name is a name. Think about names that started with words, then became an acronym.

@Laurie - that's what I was going for :)

@Rebel - thank you for your passion and courtesy vis-a-vis our email exchange. I'm a big Apple fan, switched to Apple at home after my second PC crashed as badly as the first one. Crossing fingers, I've not had an issue with either iMac, MacBook, or iPhone to date. I'm also in the technology industry and admire Apple as a company that can innovate with style. Typically, as Chris said later in the comments, I like to write fun posts on Fridays. I do Italian jokes, since I'm Italian, and women jokes seemed ok to do, too. Having said that a name is just a name, I'd be remiss if I didn't say that a brand name is a choice best made with the understanding of the implications and consequences. Two comments fitting of your name here. Thank you for arguing.

@Chris - indeed I'm sure there will be many more in the coming months as this product is an early generation or concept of something much bigger.

@Dan - and I thought we could get roast ;)

@Bruce - innovation is hard to do in a world where "best practices" are paraded around like Gospel.

@Danny - so glad it gave you a chuckle.

@Lisa - well done!

@Elja - Apple is a smart and innovative company and they make great products. I'm sure they don't mind the humor.

@Darwin - a little sense of humor is a great quality to have. Nobody is laughing at anyone's expense here. Did the personal jab make you feel better?

[Andrea]

"we don't let women within miles of Steve's hermetically sealed Special Projects room. If we did, they'd have collapsed in a gale of laughter the moment we told them the iPad's name. It only took Twitter about 15 seconds to figure this out during the rollout keynote."

What if that is exactly the reason they called it iPad? It is a comedy goldmine http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1928558

Is there any way to get more "exposure" than what an Apple device would normally get? For free? Answer: yes, an Apple device with a name like iPad.