What Can You do?

 

When you ask people what their favorite words in business are, they will tell you things like: great, thank you, please, be nice, dependable, apologetic, peaceful, care, honor, laugh, help, how, we, have fun, be friends, value, unbridled optimism, grateful, well done, how can I help? -- these are all awesome words.

Empathy, passion, thoughtfulness come across.

Then we go to work and we: use, leverage, push, message, they, ripping competitors' kidneys out, campaigns, gobbledygook made-up disembodied corporate lingo in the third person -- heavens forbid we use "I". Social, collaborative, positive, helpful lingo is replaced by war metaphors.

Is it because of that other word: profit? Do rationalizations and detachment fill a need to feel important? We all know that there's a lot of imitating others going on -- best practices and toxic cultures alike. Something is getting lost in translation between human intent and expression.

Is it the magic of creation?

Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Making things up is making things possible.

Any great movement or change starts inside, in one individual -- the "I" -- and spreads as a meme across communities. Because each member of that community feels like a unit of one -- one, distinct person, connected in thinking with others who feel the same way.

Have you noticed how with the explosion of social interaction we've reverted back from war to biology metaphors? If one person can indeed help bring about change...

What can you do?

You could learn to think independently. Working a little harder at figuring out your calling, getting closer to your passion and flow -- and forgetting what other people think, for a change. You can get feedback without getting hit with a 2 x 4 over the forehead.

Choose your mentors and advisers upon their ability to teach you by example. They exist, I promise. There are people out there, right now, with the amazing capacity for empathy, thoughtfulness, and passion. Pick them. Fire the rest.

Choose your words carefully:

• do great work
• say thank you
• ask please
• be nice
• be dependable
• care
• honor yourself and others
• laugh -- a lot
• help
• be peaceful
• stay grateful
• acknowledge something that is well done
• have fun
• be a friend -- beyond the social network way

Haque said about the Internet, I say it's broader than that. Far from fueling meaningful conversation, today's "social" web (and organized time) is a world full of the linguistic equivalent of drive-by shootings.

Choose connection. If you learn to think for yourself, and respect the other, you can still make a contrary compelling argument without becoming a contrarian just because.

© 2010 Valeria Maltoni. All rights reserved.

Comments

[Martin - TheUniversityBlog]

Yes, the word 'profit' can get in the way. However, I believe time is another huge factor getting in the way between human intent and expression.

Choosing the positive words and actions you mention in your piece shouldn't require extra time or effort. Unfortunately, the perception is often that the pleasantries, the empathy and the thought will waste valuable time. False, but ardently believed.

I agree with you that there are people out there who can advise to inspire and bring positive change. Coupled with independent and critical thinking, we might just bridge that gap.

[Kharif]

Impossible.

[Peter Tunjic]

A lovely post.

I believe ( making it up) that there are four concepts which weigh humanity down and hold us back - time, self, measurement and choice. These cast shadows across our conversations. A place where our most base fears and selfish desires hide but are still present.

There is an old saying that if you don't change direction you'll end up where your headed

For many, these are the banks of the river of life (or the whispers if I understand you) guiding us in a sad direction. if an individual or humanity is to change direction reframing our relationship with time, the self,measurement and most of all choice will be a mighty step.

There is/maybe so much more of the world to see and marvel at (even linguistic drive-bys) than can be imagined through the lens of these four concepts.

I find the challenge ( which is sometimes no fun) is to describe what I see to someone who may only understand the world with the shadow of time, the self, measurement and choice hanging over it.

Good work ( and not just because that's on your list of words to choose).

Peter

By the way, possible/impossible is not really that important. The question is whether it's believable .

[Bruce Christensen]

Valeria,
Thank you for the inspiration to do better things...

[Marcia]

Valeria,

Great post! Life is too short not to show up with (com)passion. If we do so, we *can* each make a difference in our own lives and in our work or workplaces.

thank you!

[Valeria Maltoni]

@Martin - there is something else at play as well. Insecure people think that the can have more power when they stab others in the back. No room for empathy there and nothing you can do to help them see that they, in effect, shoot themselves in the foot. As humans we're all connected. It all comes back.

@Kharif - if that's what you believe, that's your reality.

@Peter - the challenge is indeed to explain what I see to people hardened on positions. I've observed before how the lie is in the question. I'll be thinking about believable as many a manipulator uses it.

@Bruce - great to hear from you! Hope all is well with your business and family.

@Marcia - thank you for stopping by and glad the post was helpful.

[Sasha Kovaliov]

Valeria, this is so inspirational! Thank you for being a positive emotions lighthouse :)

[sarah Montague]

"Ripping the competitor's kidneys out" Oh, thanks for this laugh. I needed it today. We don't need to lose our humanity when we go to work. Work would really seem more like play if we all learned to lighten up.

@sarahmontague