Top Ten Signs You're Drinking your Own Kool-Aid When Pitching Bloggers

I haven't done a top ten list in a while, and this one was inspired.

You know, when you get pitches because you have a blog, you start developing a sense about who pitches you.

Some are using the content as an excuse to meet you, which is definitely a winning approach. Joe Chernov at Eloqua and Jon Symons at Forrester do that well. 

You don't have to have "media" or "public relations" in the title to be good at it, either. You just need to have a desire to learn and a healthy curiosity for people, especially those you're about to interrupt.

If your blogger outreach person doesn't understand that content is the connective tissue of digital media, chances are he/she has been drinking too much of your kool-aid to do a good job when pitching.

Here's how you can tell if you are:

(1.) your opening is vague or looks like a poor mail merge job. You're probably very important. However, not too important to put some effort into making it look like you took the time to figure out who is the blogger on your list. Typos in names look especially sloppy. I lost count of the people who start and continue with "Valerie" when addressing me. Such a small thing to verify, and to correct.

(2.) you're pitching an author/company/product as the best thing or most accomplished ever without taking into consideration that the person you're pitching may be as accomplished, actually more -- after all, they do have a platform and your author is looking to be featured on it, for example.

(3.) you're like a bad date, once you get what you want, you're gone... until the next time you want something. You could use some schooling in Europe. Relationships are a staple of your social (media) diet, take several servings a day. Relationships develop over time, they're not a one-stop joke.

(4.) your follow ups add no additional value. In that case, you're easy to overlook and you know why your pitch didn't get a response in the first place. Notes like "hey, any interest in xyz?", or "following up on my previous email", even better, "since you have not yet written about abc". How many messages does it take to make a first impression?

(5.) your email is an eye sore -- in addition to typos, you have ten fonts, five colors, all caps, a post scriptum and a post-post scriptum; or it's too large a file with three attachments. Why not do a post with all your assets, then point people to it? That way you can take the time to be thoughtful in the brief intro email.

(6.) you're not willing to engage in conversation. All you want is the other person to follow your next step. Why can't every good blogger just do as they're told and follow the script? If only...

(7.) you use a clever subject line and fall apart in the opening and body of the email. There are entrepreneurs who arrange for very successful product launches. You know what they do? They attend to every little detail, every email, every post, every comma, and every single word answers a higher purpose. Follow their lead.

(8.) you forget to say thank you. Attention and coverage, in this order, are a gift. How about feeling the appropriate level of gratitude?

(9.) you don't understand that the pitch cannot suit the blogger's needs. Case in point: A car manufacturer that pitches a green living editor on a 30-day road test. It was a nice crossover SUV, and the editor said so when he declined. But he's the CarFree Guy, as even a cursory look at any of his sites or social profiles will show. To make things even worse, the PR person reprinted his private email comments as a public endorsement. Wonder why Public Relations gets a bad rep?

(10.) your pitch is dishonest. For example, imagine being pitched one of those laundry balls as the kind that supposedly eliminate the need for laundry detergent. The item is presented as a green alternative to petroleum-based soaps. And the accompanying literature is loaded with totally unsubstantiated scientific-sounding babble. In this case, you're asking for the blogger to take a much closer look.

The most telling tale of a great product, service, author, etc. is that they can stand on their own. Yes, they can also use publicity and good marketing. However, the word about why they're remarkable spreads pretty quickly through trusted networks -- and the passion of those who pitch them, including yours.

***

It's Friday, let's have some fun. What horror pitch stories would you like to share with us? We can learn while protecting the innocent. We would not want to drink our own kool-aid, after all.

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Comments

[Eric Pratum]

My story has much less to do with the horror of receiving bad pitches than it does with my poor ability to deflect. I have no problem telling someone I can't schedule a call or meeting because I'm not interested, I don't have the time, the budget, etc, but my main problem comes when a pitchman rings me and says, "Do you have a minute?" Instinctively, I say, "Yes," because I'm often willing to make time for people even if I'm busy, and "a minute" means 1 minute to me. Unfortunately, it does not mean 1 minute to most people. I end up having to backtrack and cut people off in the middle of their pitches because they often act like I said," I would like to hear about your product."

[Diane]

Hi Valeria

I too find it most frustrating reading poorly written emails with typos and grammatical errors. (I just want to offer my services to correct them all!!)
Another one that you could add is the video sales pitch that starts to play and stops at least 10 - 12 times or more, before you can hear what they are trying to say. By this time, you decide that you need to go away and bring in the washing or make a cup of coffee, before you can even hear the sales pitch. Sometimes, I just wish that they would give me a good written script that I could speed read through, which is often so much easier.
I too like to have my name spelt correctly.
Cheers
Diane

[Jon Symons]

Thanks for the shout-out Valeria. It's a pretty simple formula: be clear, be concise, be honest, provide value, have respect for your audience, and listen.

Best,
Jon

[Danny Brown]

Haha, perfect timing Valeria. I just received another one this morning (seem to be attracting them lately).

"Hello madame,

We read your website regulalry (sic) and know you to be an expert in your domain. We have a new product that would be perfect for your readers and know that with our help yours could promote on a wider scale.

We would be delighted to send you a free sample to try and then share with your readers. Your site is perfect for this and we look forward to joints success.

Yours,

Name"

So, they get my sex wrong; the product is sex education DVD's (huh?) and it would appear they want to spark up a doobie to celebrate our success.

Sweet! ;-)

[Wendi Cooper]

Oh the pitch. If everyone had the perfect pitch life as a marketer would be so boring and we would all tell stories about "back in the day" when the pitch was so organic.

Since blogging is about sharing your wisdom and opinions - simply don't blog if you don't want to attract attention from those, who just may have the next great product, but don't know how to spell your name.

[Valeria Maltoni]

@Eric - good angle on the ability to deflect, or to help the person making the pitch. Darren Rowse wrote a really good post about that a couple of weeks back. When I say this post was from experience, I really meant it. It's the second response, after you take the time to try and help, that is very telling ;)

@Diane - someone's clever idea becomes someone else's interruption and annoyance. It wouldn't be a crime if it weren't in your inbox, probably. There's a good suggestion: some people prefer reading.

@Jon - right on.

@Danny - well, why research and rad when you can just make broad assumptions? That's too funny!

@Wendi - did I mention that tone is a hard earned skill in emails and commenting? It spells the difference between being constructive and sounding condescending. Pitching has a role in the business mix; we're all constantly selling ideas to each other, and learning to be compelling and professional is a benefit.

[Vince Kuraitis]

Valeria,

Thank you for bringing this issue of vital national importance to the attention of the general public.

Indeed, as a blogger I find the constant sludge of PR folks enticing me to be totally annoying. I now routinely block their further emails through my junk mail preferences.

My favorite was "Vince, I know you'd love to write a blog post about National Watermelon Week..."

I can't imagine ANYONE who would want to write a post on National Watermelon Week (and this comes from someone who would list watermelon as a favorite food).

Anyway, keep up your much needed vigilance.

V

[Joey Strawn]

Great post! My favorites are numbers 4, 6, 8 and 10. Isn't it amazing how many people simply never say "Thank You"? Common courtesy seems to have been overlooked along with grammar in this digital age of ours. I can't wait till "LOL" and "BRB" are commonplace among pitches.

It makes my head spin when a pitch is dishonest, especially one that is blatantly dishonest on the first read-through. Not to mention those that are found out later.

I'm glad you brought these to light as things to look for and to watch in our own writings. Keep up the great work.

[Annie]

I can relate to #5... I hate color-coded emails, they drive me crazy! Thanks for the great post!

[Carolyn Ann]

Hmm... The only emails I get indicate that the FBI, or the British Scotland Yard [sic] or some allegedly prestigious law firm needs to get hold of me so I can claim a rather large inheritance from an obscure, deceased, family member. Please pay $269 for further details, etc. :-)

Your post brought to mind the British chap, landed in New York not more than 12 hours before, on his first visit to America - never mind NY or Wall St (is that an epithet, these days? :-) ). He was supposed to be selling me on some moment of genius, but instead spent most of his time disparaging America. While he sat in my office just down from Wall St. (My office was just at the start line for Broadway parades :-) ) The chap accompanying him was someone I'd known for awhile, and we were both amazingly annoyed. He was embarrassed, too! Can't say I blame him.

I no longer remember the man, but I do remember his stupid and insulting tirade. He'd drunk the Kool Aid of colonialism long before. The wonder is not that he had the temerity to launch into his harangue, but that he'd agreed to deign America with his presence. Believe me: America was fine without it. :-)

The other incident it brought to mind was a certain data storage company - they came within minutes (literally) of my suing them for slander - when I realized they *believed* the lies they'd written in their complaint about me. Considering I'd actually had a floor strengthened to hold their equipment, for a test, their claims came across a little bit like Sarah Palin complaining the world is unfair. They hadn't drunk their Kool-Aid. They'd injected it.

Carolyn Ann

[Valeria Maltoni]

@Vince - how about gum that dances? Seriously! I don't doubt that there are really good products out there that would be good for people to know about. My readership is probably mostly marketing and communications people... has the agency really considered a blogger outreach strategy, or are they just pushing their PR to folks on the AdAge Power150 list? These things were passable a year ago, although still annoying. Not now!

@Joey - glad the post hit home. Focusing more on the audience for the pitch instead of just the message broadcast should be part of the process.

@Annie - and different email clients handle characters differently. That's what testing is for.

@Carolyn Ann - nothing like a chance to make a first impression. Long after we forget what someone said, we still remember how they made us feel. And you correctly knew that this post was about telling stories and believing those stories without critical thinking or at least looking at the issue from the side of the recipient of that story.

[Melody]

@DannyBrown - Your comment really made me laugh out loud, especially the smoking double meanings!

I never receive these pitches. National Watermelon Week? The most I receive is periodic emails asking me to do a "link exchange" or sometimes I get emails telling me why I should have ads on my blog. I just ignore these.

Excellent list Valeria!