Effective communication continues to take a hit. Not a day goes by without some prime example of copy that is poorly thought out and executed. Does your PR read like this? Indeed, it's not just PR.
Blame it on the desire to imitate important-sounding pronouncements seen in organizational brochures - and now in a tweet near you. Because opinion-laden was not enough, now you, too can generate total nonsense without even having to think about it.
Ever helpful, Apple has a Corporate Ipsum dashboard widget for Mac. It's also available as a Chrome browser extension. Why go through the trouble of paying for good copy writers, when you can just wave the magic wand of a copy generator?
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Quickly fabricate turnkey human capital whereas fully tested results. Objectively reintermediate integrated convergence for backend opportunities. Interactively synthesize virtual paradigms through global intellectual capital. Compellingly fabricate multimedia based processes via competitive bandwidth. Phosfluorescently engage market positioning e-services and B2C web services.
Efficiently empower virtual materials before enabled products. Objectively morph one-to-one convergence after visionary deliverables. Rapidiously incubate interoperable collaboration and idea-sharing and optimal services. Dynamically mesh ubiquitous manufactured products vis-a-vis user-centric markets. Collaboratively underwhelm process-centric benefits via wireless collaboration and idea-sharing.
Authoritatively reconceptualize reliable metrics for excellent solutions. Professionally drive exceptional supply chains before visionary initiatives. Dynamically maintain client-centric networks and backend paradigms. Credibly deploy top-line portals whereas backend web services. Appropriately incentivize interactive materials without 24/365 e-commerce.
Appropriately harness intermandated experiences vis-a-vis best-of-breed testing procedures. Seamlessly evolve just in time metrics for adaptive functionalities. Synergistically engage empowered applications via proactive catalysts for change. Dynamically pontificate bleeding-edge core competencies vis-a-vis stand-alone materials. Rapidiously benchmark dynamic users for future-proof experiences.
Interactively repurpose team driven testing procedures before customer directed products. Authoritatively harness interactive innovation after viral bandwidth. Professionally exploit user-centric potentialities vis-a-vis fully tested internal or "organic" sources. Credibly maximize user friendly synergy via resource-leveling ROI. Compellingly re-engineer quality synergy before future-proof ROI.
Intrinsicly disintermediate interoperable leadership through top-line strategic theme areas. Authoritatively matrix transparent initiatives whereas prospective methodologies. Completely engineer resource-leveling potentialities through customized partnerships. Competently reconceptualize backend infrastructures for dynamic total linkage.
Holisticly engineer cutting-edge markets after empowered web-readiness. Enthusiastically whiteboard revolutionary imperatives before customized leadership. Dramatically maximize client-based.
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Does your copy read like that? Time to liberate it from the Ipsum Generator.
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Compellingly fabricate underwhelming process-centric benefits while leveraging exploitative marking blather.
Which of the above translates to "lie your ass off while hyping your mediocre, me-too product as providing the customer with an iota of actual long term benefit?"
:)
Posted by: Brian Driggs | September 06, 2011 at 01:55 PM
what's sad is that some executives have actually edited copy to make it sound like that...
Posted by: Valeria Maltoni | September 06, 2011 at 10:08 PM
Not only executives, but it's pretty close to where my summer intern started this year.That's just about how they expected her to write in engineering school. BTW I wrote a blog post especially for her and she is much improved.
Posted by: CASUDI | September 06, 2011 at 11:17 PM
This reminds of perhaps the best teacher I’ve ever had, Ron Selby In Calculus, whenever someone would give a correct answer which we didn’t understand, he encouraged us to ask him or her, “Simplify” in order to get a more helpful answer. And if the simplification was not helpful, we would not be afraid to ask again, “Simplify”. Imagine sitting in a board room or meeting and after a complicated spiel, people looked at the speaker questioningly, and said, “Simplify.”
Posted by: Ara Bedrossian | September 07, 2011 at 07:47 AM
I'm glad she has the opportunity to work with you. Then we wonder why corporations produce drones, why people change when they cross the threshold in the morning. Language matters, and it is often a matter of paring down, of getting to the essence.
In the same way we cannot *will* ourselves into being liked just through important-sounding words. Those kinds of statements are awkward at best, and they end up making what they describe sounds all the same.
Posted by: Valeria Maltoni | September 08, 2011 at 08:05 PM
Yes, say it another way is a good technique to get us out of automatic mode and into human mode. I like the idea of the Board room a lot.
Posted by: Valeria Maltoni | September 08, 2011 at 08:17 PM